There is a meditation I’ve been really loving the last couple of weeks. It’s a practice of welcoming all aspects of your experience with warmth, graciousness, and acceptance. This includes the difficult things as well as the easy things. The idea is to invite them all into the party of your humanness as welcome guests. It feels like an important perspective now that I’m on final approach to treatment.
The last few days have felt bumpy. I’ve been grumpy. My anxiety about what is to come is feeling big. The doubting voices in my head and heart are speaking loudly. “Will this work?” “Will I be miserable?” “Why am I doing this to myself voluntarily?” “The year ahead is going to be rough, am I up to it?”
Welcome to the party. Welcome analytical, researching mind. Welcome fear and uncertainty. Welcome hope. Welcome planner and organizer. Welcome controller. Welcome excitement. Everyone please come in, enjoy some refreshments, get to know each other – this is a safe space for you to hang out.
And welcome gratitude, especially gratitude. The last couple of years with Covid have brought isolation. I have been caught in a belief that my circle of friends and community had shrunk or disappeared. I don’t think I’m alone in this. To be safe and protect the ones we love, we have retreated to our homes and forgone even the simplest of gatherings and connection.
But this isn’t the real story, in fact my circle and community is alive and thriving, beautiful and rich. I have been brought to tears every day this last week by a profound outpouring of love and support. I have felt almost embarrassed, and definitely humbled, by the beauty and generosity of the people in my life. This has been staggering, breathless, and ultimately fortifying. I have received poems, gemstones, songs, a bad ass power bracelet, fingerless mittens and hand warmers because my hands are always cold, prayer beads, drawings, cards, a healing bundle wrapped with herbs, and so so many words, written and spoken, that are deeper than just obligatory “get well soon”. Words that express genuine love and history. Words that take time and thought and effort. Words that show an interest in really understanding. All in all, it is a profound sense of feeling seen and held. This is an exquisite place to be as I pack my bag with the practical things I need along with these tokens infused with the people and place I love. Welcome love. Welcome healing. I am carrying all of you with me and am honored and thankful for the strength and hope your love gives me access to.
My mom, who will be my caregiver for the whole 28 days (more enormous gratitude!), and I get on a plane tomorrow night at 10 PM and arrive in Mexico City at around five in the morning. See you in Puebla, Mexico!
Beautiful Elisha! My Centering Prayer group uses The Welcoming Prayer. It certainly can open our hearts!
We are with you as we gather on Tuesday evening . We will be praying for you and your mom! One of our members Alegria (Ali) is from Mexico and she sends her love! Peace be with you Dear One!❤️
Thank you so much Pam! I feel your love!
Dear Elisha,
I’m imagining you know Rumi’s poem, The Guest House. Whether you do or you don’t, it’s so beautiful and it came to my mind as I began to read your post – so I share it below.
Safe passage, and deep blessings on your Journey.
THE GUEST HOUSE
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
I was not familiar with this and I love it! Exactly!!
I may have already replied, but I wanted to let you know how much this poem touched me. Thank you.
Thank you so much for bringing us along on this journey. You write so beautifully and your insights are profound. We are with you in spirit.
❤️
How beautifully you have painted your vision of your healing! Heart-centered and full of hope. Powerfully vulnerable seems a contradiction in terms, yet for me it fits you. In fact, you amaze me sometimes with your spirit and determination. You inspire me to keep on with my own journey (and you know what I am talking about).
I am with you, beautiful daughter, in spirit and love and holding you in the Highest healing light I know!!
Thank you dad! I feel your love and support.